


Doubts

by mofumanju



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-05
Updated: 2016-07-05
Packaged: 2018-07-21 17:49:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7397389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mofumanju/pseuds/mofumanju
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leo is haunted by a question.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Doubts

**Author's Note:**

> Aah I've written this during two flights to cross Italy. Thank you Fuyuka for the feelings, this is for you.

“What should I do?” Leo whispers, and his hands are trembling, his knees give in and he falls on the floor full of confetti and the dust his dreams have left, destroyed like a fragile crystal and impossible to put back together.  
Knights taste defeat on the tips of their tongue, and Fine rise and shine without showing any mercy.  
Leo hates them. Leo hates everything. 

“What should I do?” Leo says, paper on hands, notes without meaning soiling a stave filled with music no one will ever play. The floor is full of balls of ink and cellulose - it’s not that he doesn’t know how to compose, he just doesn’t want to anymore. He feels unworthy and defeated, and it’s easier to forget about music, it’s easier to forget about Yumenosaki, about Fine than keep suffering for nothing.  
It’s easier to forget Eichi Tenshouin than insist on trying to keep the hatred alive and burning like a fire.   
It’s way too easier.

“What should I do?” and his voice is high, too cheerful to belong to the old himself. What should he do indeed, now that he’s back to school and all he can think about is aliens, and how they left him behind in a world he despises, even if he doesn't remember why?  
“Ousama-kun, welcome back,” Eichi’s voice reaches his ears, sweet and nauseous like a candy, and his memory comes back just for a moment, just the time to pronounce the only sentence he can address to the Emperor.  
“Fuck off.”

“What should I do?” and Leo repeats those words too many times, and Izumi slaps his head and orders him to stop - as he would care. His unit welcomed him back, gave him back his crown and put him on the throne, but he doesn't feel like he really want to take back his place. He doesn't want to taste defeat again, he just want to teach Anzu how to compose.  
Even if this means giving the Emperor new instruments to stay on top.  
Maybe he cares less than he wants to admit.

“What should I do?” he asks Eichi, but it’s addressed to himself, that question that seems not to really have an answer. Eichi scrolls his shoulders and hides a cough behind a smile. He never liked him, but now the Emperor looks so miserable that he feels… pityful, at least.  
“I don't expect you to do anything, Ousama-kun.”  
“You’re right. You deserve this.”  
And still, the hand on Eichi’s back states the contrary.   
He doesn't despise Eichi.  
He despises himself.

“What should I do?” and his breath is frantic, because it’s the first time he sees so much blood at once, and he’s scared - and he knew, that sometimes even God wasn't keen on showing mercy, even to the Emperor. Eichi is collapsing on the floor and the only thing he can do is staying still and watching the scene as if he weren't even there - he can only observe how Keito bends over Eichi’s body and helps him to stand up - failing.  
“Call an ambulance,” Keito shouts, and for the first time in his life, Leo obeys to someone who’s not himself.

“What should I do?” and his voice is so soft, so low that he really can't hear himself. How he ended holding Eichi’s hand, he doesn't know. He wants to ask Eichi why he feels so attracted by him, like the Moon is by the Earth, but Eichi can't talk - he is barely breathing right now.  
“You deserve this,” he says just to provoke, hoping that Eichi will answer.  
He doesn't.   
“Please wake up. It doesn't feel right.”  
Leo never felt the urge of crying as he does right now. Anything feels right.   
“Please.”

“What should I do?” _with you_ he’d add, but Eichi laughs so softly that he gets distracted and oh, what is it, that little skip his heart did without permission?   
“You should do nothing,” is an answer he doesn't expect, though. Eichi lowers his head - he probably thinks that the sheets of his bed are more interesting than him.  
He feels offended.  
“Why are you here?”   
For the first time in a long while, Leo feels like he has run out of words. Eichi keeps looking at the sheets and not at him, and this irritates him more than it should.  
“Look, if you don't want me here I’m-”  
Eichi wants to surprise him, today. He wouldn't explain the hand tightening around his wrist, if it wasn't so.  
“Stay. Please.”  
It’s not an order. That's why he stays.

“What do you need me for?” he asks, while he pushes the wheelchair and brings Eichi out of his room, on the roof from which they both can see the school, the ocean.  
“I want you to push me down. Make me fall. Let me die.”  
“You’re not Wataru, stop being so melodramatic.”  
Eichi laughs, but something is off. Leo knows held not serious, and yet he doubts. “Seriously, idiot.”  
Silence is strange, Leo never liked it. He likes to hear sounds, noises, voices, he doesn't mind, as much as he can hear something.  
He likes to hear Eichi’s voice. Especially when he’s talking to him.  
“Would you do anything?”  
“I wouldn't die for you. And I wouldn't clean your ads if you were unable to get to the bathroom. I wouldn't do many things for you, to be honest, but I can't think of anything else now.”  
“Would you stay with me? Even if you hate me.”  
He hates silence. He stopped hating Eichi long ago.  
“I don't hate you, stupid Emperor.”  
And that’s a problem, isn't it.

He doesn't know what to do. He never did, but now is different - it’s all new, something he thought he wasn't interested in until that very moment. Eichi lips don't taste like blood, they're… good. Too good, and this makes his head spin fast, and for a moment he thinks he’s dying.  
“You can breathe with your nose, you know,” and he knows that Eichi is making fun of him, when the kiss breaks and he brushes his lower lip with his thumb. He would answer, if Eichi didn't attack his mouth again, his tongue asking the permission to enter with gentle strokes.  
He allows him to. And he starts to breath again.


End file.
